Ending a relationship, especially long-term relationships, is never easy. In this article, we are going to drill down a few tools to help you discern whether your relationship is about to be over or you’re still committed to working it out.

If your sex life starts to get off and you’re not aligned.

Sex just becomes boring or even resentful. If you’re just resisting it totally or if you’re not having sex at all. Some couples go months and years without having sex and this is really detrimental to their relationship and to their connection to feeling loved and to loving each other. If that’s the case in your sex life, it’s a good indication that other things are off, but there’s a psychological or emotional disconnect. Maybe there’s resentment that’s being held. So it’s really important for you to keep an open dialogue and communicate about why your sex life is off, what’s that symbolizing and what that means for you.


If you start picking fights.

If you start picking fights with each other, often times this can be a shadow of the feminine. We start to pick fights with our lovers because we want them to do the dirty work and we’re not ready to own up to the emotional courage and stability that it’s going to take to work through whatever the issues are. So we try to get our partners to break up with us first.

But you don’t have to do that. If you are picking fights and it’s just beginning to downward spiral into a really frustrating confrontational atmosphere at home or when you’re together, again, use it as a symbol and ask ‘Why? What’s really going?’ Dig underneath and begin to work more consciously in a healthy pattern of communication instead of passive aggressive way. Moreover, you have to really address the core issues at hand.

When your body is giving you signals.

Listen to your body because it never lies. Notice how you feel around this person. Are you feeling open and expanded? Are you feeling like you’re flourishing or are you feeling constricted, restricted? Is there a tension and a tightness that’s building up? Is it difficult for you to sleep at night? Are you having anxiety? What are the thoughts that are coming up when you can’t go to sleep? Pay attention when your body is talking to you before your head or when your heart is ready to hear the message. Take notes or journal about it if you need to but really tune-in to what you’re feeling.

Why Seeking Professional Help Is Necessary

Because so much of the time relationships break down from unconscious patterns that we’re triggering our old traumas, our old wounds from our childhood and our family of origin. We learn how to relate each other especially in romantic relationship based on our parental role models. All of those patterns are brought up in our romantic relationships. Talking to a professional therapist is the best way to discuss these things and get a room for reconciliation.

If you have a partner who’s willing to work and willing to show up and look at their baggage and own their part of it, there’s a lot of room to work and to heal. But if one or both of you are just not willing to show up, this could be painful and not easy, thus might be an indication that it’s time to transition and move on.